Week 2 NFL Predictions

Houston at Carolina

Line: Panthers by 6.5

OK, I’d like a mulligan on the Falcons’ pick. I pulled this off once with Tampa Bay, so me picking my seasonal sleeper in Week 2 is not unprecedented. This year’s surprise team will come from my old hometown, as the Houston Texans will emerge as a playoff team for the first time in the franchise history.

Texans 25, Panthers 24

Cincinnati at Cleveland

Line: Bengals by 7

This one’s a gimme. Cincy has more talent on both sides of the football. Time to put Romeo Crennell on the hot seat, where he’ll stay for about the next ten games before his inevitable firing. Bengals 31, Browns 6

Atlanta at Jacksonville

Line: Jaguars by 10

As badly as the Falcons stunk up the joint in Week 1 (and yes, I’m calling for a mulligan until Joey Harrington actually starts playing like a competent NFL QB) the Jags shouldn’t be favored by ten against anybody after their lackluster opening game effort against Tennessee. Too many issues at the QB position. Jaguars 20, Falcons 13

Green Bay at New York Giants

Line: Packers by 1.5

The line went down considerably as Eli’s been upgraded from out to game-time decision. Still, while the Packers have a good defense, they needed dumb luck to squeak past the Eagles. Giants 17, Packers 13

Buffalo at Pittsburgh

Line: Steelers by 10

This Buffalo team is a resilient bunch, but after getting their hearts physically ripped from their chests Temple of Doom style in Week 1 and traveling into Pittsburgh against a suddenly-revamped and motivated Steelers’ team, the odds clearly stack against against the Bills. Steelers 24, Bills 10

San Francisco at St. Louis

Line: Rams by 3

Orlando Pace’s season-ending injury is about the worst thing that could happen to the Rams’ offense. Without him, there’s no pass-protection and things are about to get real ugly for the Rams’ season. 49ers 20, Rams 17

New Orleans at Tampa Bay

Line: Saints by 3

The Saints may eek by thanks to Tampa’s inept offense, but make no mistake about it. This is clearly not the same team without Joe Horn and the Katrina euphoria is all but gone. Saints 14, Bucs 10

Indianapolis at Tennessee

Line: Colts by 7

Tennessee seems to love playing the Colts. What they’ll love even more is that this is the same defense Vince gave nightmares to twice last year, and this year they don’t have Booger in the middle to control the running game. Indy in a squeaker. Colts 27, Titans 24

Seattle at Arizona

Line: Seahawks by 2.5

The Cardinals were about 5 minutes away from making me and a host of others look incredibly stupid when they folded in typical fashion. What’s even funnier is the way they bungled the game, not knocking the ball out of the end zone to give the Niners that one extra chance to score. Seattle won’t need any extra chances, this one will be over pretty early. Seahawks 20, Cardinals 7

Minnesota at Detroit

Line: Lions by 3

It’s Jon Kitna against a horrid secondary. If he can limit his mistakes, he’ll pick the Vikings apart with all the weapons he has at receiver. Minnesota came close to losing to the Lions a couple times last year and this time they bite the dust. Lions 28, Vikings 24

Dallas at Miami

Line: Cowboys by 3.5

Lets call this the Tums Blowout of the Week special. Dallas’s suspect secondary won’t have to worry about Roy Williams being out of position on every passing play this week as the Dolphins’ passing game (and offense in general) is completely inept. Cowboys 27, Dolphins 7

New York Jets at Baltimore

Line: Ravens by 10

Yes, McNair looked awful last week, but he’s got the Jets secondary this week, the same guys who looked like a bunch of pylons as every New England receiver you can name ran circles around them. Not to mention, this is Kellen Clemens (in all likelihood) on the road against arguably the best defense in the game when the offense gives them more than half a field to work with. Ravens 21, Jets 3

Kansas City at Chicago

Line: Bears by 12

The Chiefs just looked awful in every aspect of the game against Houston. Chicago has a few injuries on defense, but it won’t make much of a difference if the Chiefs playcalling stays that bad this week. There’s a good likelihood of that too as Herm Edwards is the one handling that responsibility. Bears 30, Chiefs 3

Oakland at Denver

Line: Broncos by 9.5

The Broncos have the talent and potential of a playoff team, but they looked like anything but one in a Week 1 win over Buffalo in which they trailed on every play except Jason Elam’s game-winning FG. Oakland’s defense is still good and Cutler’s inexperience means a couple cheap scores from his mistakes keep the game close. Broncos 17, Raiders 10

San Diego at New England

Line: Patriots by 3

LaDanian will be back to 100-yard form with Rick Seymour out of the lineup, but Philip Rivers, who still looked a little unpolished against the Bears, will likely make a couple mistakes. And this Patriots team, with the revamped offense they have, WILL CAPITALIZE. Patriots 31, Chargers 21

Washington at Philadelphia

Line: Eagles by 6.5

If the Eagles need a punt returner, I have no qualms about going into their training facility right now and winning a job Vince Papale style. Must-win game for Philly, hostile environment for the Redskins, go with the home team, wash, rinse, repeat. Eagles 24, Redskins 14

Week 1 vs Spread: 7-7-2

Season vs Spread: 7-7-2

Week 1 Straight up: 10-6

Season Straight up: 10-6