Week 8 NFL Predictions

Indianapolis at Carolina

Line: Colts by 7

It’s not that he’s starting. It’s the fact that Vinny Testaverde actually looks like a serviceable QB that has me wondering where all the good college QB’s are. Teams can’t be in such a sad state at that position that they’re actually depending on mediocre career QB’s in the their 40’s, can they?

Colts 31, Panthers 17

Pittsburgh at Cincinnati

Line: Steelers by 3.5

Pittsburgh fooled a lot of people, myself included, into thinking they’re contenders. This team still hasn’t put together a good road game since Week 1. Most of Cincinnati’s failures have occurred outside of Paul Brown stadium, so they ride some more of that home-crowd mojo in upsetting the Steelers. Bengals 24, Steelers 23

Detroit at Chicago

Line: Bears by 5

Going with Chicago is a dicey proposition, but the Lions were completely uncompetitive in their last two road outings and will have a tough time throwing in cold weather. Bears 24, Lions 14

Oakland at Tennessee

Line: Titans by 7.5

And speaking of aging, mediocre QB’s, Kerry Collins somehow still has a job. No I’m not drinkin’ the Kool-Aid, even when Collins was a regular, did he ever string together two good games in a row? Titans 16, Raiders 14

Cleveland at St. Louis

Line: Browns by 3.5

Everyone’s excited about the Pats and Colts chasing the ’72 Dolphins, but the battle for 0-16 is just as mesmerizing. Oh yeah, JLew, stop making guarantees that you’re gonna play and copping out at the last minute! I can’t keep playing Kevin Faulk every week!

Browns 17, Rams 10

Philadelphia at Minnesota

Line: Vikings by 1

I’ll keep drinking the purple Kool-Aid as long as A-Pete keeps showing signs of being the next great one. What happened to Philly last week will probably keep them staggering for the next few weeks. To lose a game at home to the Bears when you had them pinned on the three yard-line? Forget about a punch in the gut, that’s being hit in the back of the head with a champagne bottle while not looking! Vikings 21, Eagles 16

New York Giants vs Miami

Line: Giants by 9.5

So, does anyone think the English will start rioting when they hear that instead of seeing Trent Green and Ronnie Brown, they get to watch the always formidable duo of Cleo Lemon and Jesse Chatman? Giants 24, Dolphins 10

Buffalo at New York Jets

Line: Jets by 3

The Jets can’t just keep “coming close” every week. Eventually they have to break through, right? Last chance, Mangini! Save the season now or you’re officially on my shit list! Jets 24, Bills 20

Houston at San Diego

Line: Chargers by 10.5

I have visited San Diego. It’s a beautiful city and it breaks my heart to hear that it’s caught ablaze. Hopefully, wherever the game is played, the players, their families, the fans and the good citizens of San Diego find that state of normalcy again. Chargers 24, Texans 17

Jacksonville at Tampa Bay

Line: Buccaneers by 3.5

No Garrard, no MoJo, no chance. Tampa should count their blessings, first the Titans lose Vince when they travel there, and now the Jags come in banged up. The good vibes stay with the teams I jock (remember two years ago suckas??) Buccaneers 14, Jaguars 7

Washington at New England

Line: Patriots by 16

Alas, a line even the legendary Patriots may not cover. Washington won’t win the game outright, but I could see them limiting New England’s possessions by churning out rushing yards and hitting the Pats’ receivers on virtually every play. Patriots 31, Redskins 17

San Francisco at New Orleans

Line: Saints by 2.5

The classic Sunday Night Game with Preseason hype that fizzles when both teams go in the tank about halfway through the season. Watching the Niners’ OL against the Saints’ DL will be the resistable force against the moveable object. 49ers 17, Saints 14

Green Bay at Denver

Line: Packers by 3.5

Shanahan’s Broncs have circled the wagons yet again. I had that feeling I’d be screaming “Where was that in the first five games!!” at the TV, now with another win here, Denver can move into a possible 3-way-tie for first in the AFC West. Broncos 24, Packers 21

Week 7 vs the spread 7-7

Season vs the spread 47-48-8

Week 7 Straight up 10-4

Season straight up 67-36

Week 7 NFL Predictions

Baltimore at Buffalo

Line: Ravens by 3

Buffalo has played above expectations at home and Baltimore’s offense is running hot-and-cold. I’m taking Buffalo outright as a home underdog. Bills 16, Ravens 13

San Francisco at New York Giants

Line: Giants by 9

I wonder what this line would look like if these teams met up in Week 3. Since these teams are moving in dramatically opposite directions, you go with the Giants to cover, especially with Vegas moving the line back almost 2 points. Giants 27, 49ers 10

New England at Miami

Line: Patriots by 16.5

You can forget the “Tom Brady in Miami” theory. This Patriots’ system is fool-proof. They can score points with Kevin Faulk and Kyle Eckel in the backfield. As long as the dominant receivers are there, Miami is helpless to stop them. Patriots 41, Dolphins 10

Tennessee at Houston

Line: Titans by 1.5

The Texans just seem to inspire less and less confidence in me that they’ll truly emerge as a playoff team. Is it too late to say first winning record in franchise history? They win this week because of Vince’s bum wheel limiting him. Texans 17, Titans 10

Tampa Bay at Detroit

Line: Lions by 2

Finesse offense against a speed defense. Gotta go with Tampa in this one, other than the Indianapolis game, their defense has allowed a grand total of 54 points. Buccaneers 14, Lions 13

Atlanta at New Orleans

Line: Saints by 9

Possibly the worst line of the week. New Orleans has had precisely one good offensive half all year and somehow they’re 9 points better than the Falcons. Sorry, but Atlanta has at least made things respectable in all their losses. Saints 24, Falcons 17

Arizona at Washington
Line: Redskins by 9

Not too crazy about this line either, as I think the Arizona defense can at least make the contest respectable on the road. Redskins 20, Cardinals 17

Kansas City at Oakland

Line: Radiers by 3

I’ll let recent history be the judge of the outcome here, as the Chiefs have dominated the series lately, have played beyond expectations, and the Raiders are still a young team that must take its lumps. Chiefs 13, Raiders 10

New York Jets at Cincinnati

Line: Bengals by 6

Two talented teams are fighting desperately for their playoff lives and the Bengals are the ones who finally play up to their lofty preseason expectations. Bengals 28, Jets 23

Minnesota at Dallas

Line: Cowboys by 9.5

Dallas is already showing early signs of playing down to its competition, as they did two weeks ago in Buffalo. They’re also facing a red-hot RB in Adrian Peterson, who’s enough of a threat to beat a team single-handedly. The Cowboys fortunately have just enough talent to overtake the Vikes. Cowboys 31, Vikings 24

Chicago at Philadelphia

Line: Eagles by 5

Chicago is abysmal against the run and you know Philly can’t wait to give them a handful of Brian Westbrook, who can kill you running and catching. Oh, and Brian Griese in Philadelphia? Fuhgidabowdit! Eagles 24, Bears 10

St. Louis at Seattle

Line: Seahawks by 8

Until I see the Seahawks’ offense play like it has a pulse, I’m going to continue to pick against them. I probably should have started this trend last week when they got embarrassed by the Saints. Seahawks 21, Rams 14

Pittsburgh at Denver

Line: Steelers by 3.5

The Broncos’ flat offense is not going to get better against one of the toughest defenses in football. Meanwhile, the Steelers should play a solid, efficient game and hammer one of the most overrated teams in the NFL. Steelers 24, Broncos 10

Indianapolis at Jacksonville

Line: Colts by 3

None of the Sunday games are watchable, they had to save the good game for Monday Night. While the Jaguars’ D will be game, Peyton has shown that he can overcome a good defense and always plays well under the spotlight. Plus, the Colts’ D will show some pride after last year’s meltdown against the Jags. Colts 27, Jaguars 20

Week 6 vs the spread 6-5-2

Season vs the spread 40-41-8

Week 6 Straight up 8-5

Season Straight up 57-32

Week 6 NFL Predictions

St. Louis at Baltimore

Line: Ravens by 9.5

As bad as the Rams are, I hesitate to take the Ravens to win by more than 7 against anyone unless their offense suddenly shows a dramatic improvement. Ravens 14, Rams 7

Washington at Green Bay

Line: Packers by 3

The Redskins will be game, but Favre will do them one better as the Pack put last week’s meltdown against Chicago behind them. Packers 20, Redskins 16

Tampa Bay at Tennessee

Line: Buccaneers by 3

This is a banged up Tampa squad playing at home against one of the premier teams in the AFC. Vince will be back to his old tricks after a stinker performance against Atlanta last week. Titans 20, Buccaneers 10

Cincinnati at Kansas City

Line: Bengals by 3

The Bengals’ miserable D is making the entire league look good. Even an anemic offense like KC’s can put up points against this sad excuse for a D. Cheifs 27, Bengals 24

Philadelphia at New York Jets

Line: Eagles by 3.5

The Eagles are a different team without Brian Westbrook. That was apparent against the Giants when they had no blitz protection against McNabb, no short targets in the passing game, and their offense turned to goo. This week, not only is Westbrook back, but so is William Thomas, whose backup got burned last week by Umenyoria to the tune of 6 sacks. I’ll go with a healing Philly against the blundering Jets. Eagles 24, Jets 17

Houston at Jacksonville

Line: Jaguars by 6.5

The Jaguars smell the cheese and get lured into this trap game, thanks to the Houston Texans, the team on a mission to make the playoffs for the first time in it’s franchise history. Ride that mojo one more week, Andre’s coming back soon! Texans 24, Jaguars 21

Minnesota at Chicago

Line: Bears by 5.5

With two bad offenses taking the field, no one’s beating anyone by more than three points. Whatever the O/U is, take the under, even if it’s 10. If you’re a fan of defense, expect to see a lot in this game, with points at an absolute premium. Bears 6, Vikings 3

Miami at Cleveland

Line: Browns by 4.5

Cleo Lemon on the road. I just keep reminding myself of that. But anyone that’s a Ronnie Brown owner, I’d like him in a trade please. I knew I shouldn’t have dealt him two years ago! Wish I could take that back! Browns 20, Dolphins 10

Carolina at Arizona

Line: Cardinals by 4.5

Mr. Brenda Warner has his revenge! We still believe in you Kurt. Suddenly, the Cardinals are becoming favorites for the second week in a row. Has that ever happened in recorded history? Could this team actually be playoff good? They should at least beat the Panthers with all the QB problems they’re having. Cardinals 17, Panthers 10

Oakland at San Diego

Line: Chargers by 9.5

From a pure talent standpoint, it shouldn’t be close, but do not underestimate Norv Turner’s coaching, as it can strike at any time and plague a talented team, making them work harder than they need to against an inferior opponent. Chargers 24, Raiders 17

New England at Dallas

Line: Patriots by 4.5

In the big showdown of the year between two 5-0 teams, New England has dominated the league like few in recent memory with a bone-crushing defense and a playmaking offense. Dallas, meanwhile, might have had its cover pulled with last week’s stinker performance in Buffalo. While they did escape with the win, Dallas’s offensive line looked very beatable and Romo showed he’s a much less effective QB against constant pressure, something the Patriots’ defense will be sure to give him plenty of. Patriots 27, Cowboys 13

New Orleans at Seattle

Line: Seahawks by 6.5

Lets call this the Tums Blowout of the Week, as the miserable Saints can do little right against the Seahawks, extending their long losing streak. Seahawks 27, Saints 7

New York Giants at Atlanta

Line: Giants by 3.5

I’m not 100% sold on the Giants’ defense, but they do show up against bad offensive teams, like this Atlanta squad. Giants 24, Falcons 14

Week 5 vs Spread: 5-9

Season vs Spread: 34-36-6

Week 5 Straight up: 11-3

Season Straight up: 49-27

Week 5 NFL Predictions

Carolina at New Orleans

Line: Saints by 3

The losses stop here for the Saints, as the David Carr-led Panthers can’t get it done on the road and Drew Brees finally breaks free of his season-long slump. Saints 28, Panthers 21

Jacksonville at Kansas City

Line: Jaguars by 2

The Jaguars run hot-and-cold and the Chiefs’ Dwayne Bowe is quickly becoming a front-runner for Rookie of the Year. His ability to stretch the defense will be the difference. Also, keep in mind, the Kansas City defense has yet to let up a second half TD. Chiefs 13, Jaguars 10

Detroit at Washington

Line: Redskins by 3.5

Bad matchup for Detroit. Their secondary is clearly the club’s weak-link and Washington has playmakers in the passing game. The offense will get it back on track with a well-balanced effort against the Lions. Redskins 35, Lions 21

Atlanta at Tennessee

Line: Titans by 8.5

If he continues to play at a high level, Joey Harrington can keep the Falcons close in Tennessee. Ultimately, though, the defense will be helpless trying to stop Vince. Titans 27, Falcons 20

Miami at Houston

Line: Texans by 5.5

It looks like the Texans’ Cinderella story has taken a pit-stop, but not to worry, even without Andre Johnson for the time being, the Texans will get back on the path that leads to the playoffs for the first time in franchise history. Lose to the Dolphins, however, and my theory will be almost in ruins. Texans 31, Dolphins 21

Seattle at Pittsburgh

Line: Steelers by 6

These teams are evenly matched on paper, so it will likely come down to who can run the ball better. I’ll go with Pittsburgh after last week’s lackluster rushing effort against Arizona to get back on track in that regard. Steelers 24, Seahawks 21

Cleveland at New England

Line: Patriots by 16.5

Every week, the lines get more staggering for this team, and you know what? You still take the points, that’s how dominant this Patriots team is. Don’t expect much of a let-down as this well-oiled machine rolls over Cleveland in the tune-up to the Dallas showdown. Easy candidate for Tums Blowout of the Week. Patriots 38, Browns 17

Arizona at St. Louis

Line: Cardinals by 3.5

This Cardinal team has sleeper potential written all over it with their hard-hitting defense and newfound running game. They should have little difficultly dominating the hapless Rams. Cardinals 34, Rams 21

New York Jets at New York Giants

Line: Giants by 3.5

Nothing like a good old-fashioned inner-state rivalry. The beauty of this game is, like the Lakers and Clippers, there’s no real home-field advantage. The Giants are the pick though after their defense has come back on track with a strong second half against the Redskins and a dominating effort against the Eagles. Giants 23, Jets 17

Tampa Bay at Indianapolis

Line: Colts by 9.5

The Colts’ O will suddenly face tougher sledding when the #1 defense in the NFL comes to town. They’ll still get enough points to get by, but Indy will have its hands full with Tampa, especially being thin at LB since Garcia thrives in the short game. Colts 24, Buccaneers 17

San Diego at Denver

Line: Broncos by 1

This Chargers’ team is quickly becoming a complete disaster. Norv Turner is literally coaching them into the ground and Philip Rivers has shown signs of regression after a strong first year. They still should be able to dominate on the ground, however, against a helpless Broncos’ run defense so long as they keep it simple and pound it between the tackles with LT. Chargers 24, Broncos 20

Baltimore at San Francisco

Line: Ravens by 3

As much as people criticize Alex Smith, he was probably the Niners’ best offensive player, as his armstrength and decision-making have improved even though the O-line has been woeful. Baltimore’s been no great shakes this year, but they should have enough to beat the helpless Trent Dilfer-led Niners in San Francisco. Ravens 17, 49ers 10

Chicago at Green Bay

Line: Packers by 3

The Bears should just clone Devin Hester and start him at WR, RB and QB. That would solve two problems with the Bears’ offense. The Packers don’t run the ball, but it won’t make a difference as Brett Favre should torch the Mike Brown-less Bears’ secondary as the Packers stay perfect. Packers 20, Bears 13

Dallas at Buffalo

Line: Cowboys by 10.5

Dallas is 4-0 for the first time since 1995 and they should keep it rolling against the Bills as long as the offense keeps clicking in high gear. Cowboys 35, Bills 17

Week 4 vs spread: 7-7

Season vs spread: 29-27-6

Week 4 Straight up: 5-9

Season Straight up: 38-24

Week 4 NFL Predictions

New York Jets at Buffalo

Line: Jets by 3.5

The Jets are going to be OK. So long as this team can run the football, they should have no problem beating the downtrodden Bills, who have yet to break into the win column. Jets 20, Bills 14

Baltimore at Cleveland
Line: Ravens by 4

Jamal Lewis against his old team. Revenge will be a factor, no doubt. This Ravens team has yet to really impress me, as they’ve barely gotten by in their two wins and appear to be losing a step defensively. Ravens 23, Browns 20

Oakland at Miami

Line: Dolphins by 4.5

The Dolphins could only get this kind of line against a team like the Raiders. Oakland was fairly competitive in its last pair of games, but they’re still a young team and are at a distinct disadvantage starting Daunte Culpepper on the road.

Dolphins 24, Raiders 14

Chicago at Detroit

Line: Bears by 3

You know you’re having QB problems when your fans are actually excited about Brian Griese starting. Detroit’s biggest weakness is pass defense and Griese will spend the whole game trying to get in rhythm, so no defensive letdown this week for the Lions. Lions 17, Bears 13

St. Louis at Dallas

Line: Cowboys by 13

The oddsmakers were being generous with this line. This game will be over well before halftime. St. Louis is playing without its star RB, its star OT and with a QB playing on two bruised ribs. If that’s not enough, Tony Romo has been on fire and the Rams’ pass defense has been getting torched all year. Lets just call this the Official TUMS Blowout of the Week. Cowboys 49, Rams 21

Houston at Atlanta

Line: Texans by 3

The Texans will make the playoffs for the first time in franchise history and even without Andre Johnson and Ahman Green, the Falcons will feel the wrath of Andra Davis, Ron Dayne and Dr. Samkon Gado. This is the year the Falcons wish they could have Matt Schaub back. Texans 21, Falcons 13

Seattle at San Francisco

Line: Seahawks by 2

This one’s too easy. Take the home team here. San Francisco may not look as impressive as their 2-1 record suggests, but its not like the Seahawks have been setting the world on fire. Frank Gore loves playing against these guys, as his two monster games against Seattle from last year suggests. 49ers 24, Seahawks 20

Green Bay at Minnesota

Line: Packers by 2

The young Brett Favre lost routinely in the Metrodome. The more experienced Brett Favre owns the Metrodome, having won there in three of the last four years. This Sunday won’t be any different. Packers 20, Vikings 17

Tampa Bay at Carolina

Line: Panthers by 3

Jake Delhomme is hurt, but I don’t think the injury matters so long as Carolina continues to run the football the way they did the last two weeks. Jeff Garcia is due to come back to earth and David Carr could honestly take this job and run with a good performance this week. Panthers 24, Buccaneers 20

Pittsburgh at Arizona

Line: Steelers by 6

A tricky one for the Steelers, as they’ll be going up against an old coordinator who knows most of their secrets in Ken Whisenhunt with a good but fairly inexperienced coach in Mike Tomlin. I’ll go with Pittsburgh on sheer talent, but it’s scary how well Arizona matches up with them. Steelers 20, Cardinals 17

Kansas City at San Diego

Line: Chargers by 11.5

Everyone keeps anxiously waiting for that breakout game from the Chargers. The talent is clearly there, but they have to get back to playing physical football. They’ll start to do it against the Chiefs by shutting down their offense early and controlling the game on the ground. Chargers 24, Chiefs 10

Denver at Indianapolis

Line: Colts by 9.5

Shanahan’s teams have not fared well against this Colts’ outfit in recent years. It’s like Peyton Manning is always two steps ahead of him. The Broncos added Dre Bly to match up with Reggie Wayne, so Manning will just use the middle of the field and kill them with Dallas Clark, Joe Addai (Sharpstown High represent!!!) and Anthony Gonzalez. Plus the Colts’ D has played better than expected this year and the Broncos are having enough problems on offense. Colts 42, Broncos 24

Philadelphia at New York Giants

Line: Eagles by 2.5

After putting up a 56-spot on the Lions, it looks like the Eagles will be OK. Donovan McNabb should continue to get well against another weak secondary, as he’ll attack the middle of the field repeatedly against the Giants’ soft coverage. New York should thank their lucky stars they woke up in the second half against Washington, otherwise they’d be 0-3 right now. Eagles 24, Giants 17

New England at Cincinnati

Line: Patriots by 7.5

This game has serious video game score potential. The Patriots have been kicking ass and taking names the first three weeks while the Bengals have been their usual productive selves on offense and absolutely miserable on defense. With no Rudi Johnson, Carson Palmer could honestly pass the ball 50 times in this game, nothing would surprise me. Oh, and the Pats will win comfortably. Patriots 70, Bengals 56

Week 3 vs Spread: 7-6-3

Season vs Spread: 22-20-6

Week 3 Straight up: 12-4

Season Straight up: 33-15

Week 3 NFL Predictions

Indianapolis at Houston

Line: Colts by 6

They’re still my sleeper, they’re still going to the playoffs for the first time in franchise history, but can the Texans beat one of the two best teams in the league without their #1 target, Andre Johnson? I’m hedging my bets on that. Colts 27, Texans 20

San Diego at Green Bay

Line: Chargers by 5

San Diego’s offense has looked inept the first two weeks, but how long can it stay this bad? I’m guessing this is the breakout game. If not, you’ll know exactly who’s fault it is, and he’s wearing the headset. Chargers 28, Packers 21

Minnesota at Kansas City

Line: Chiefs by 2.5

Scoring will be at a premium in this game as two struggling offenses face two pretty good defenses. The advantage goes to KC, as It’d be tough to imagine Tavaris Jackson winning in a hostile environment. Chiefs 10, Vikings 7

Detroit at Philadelphia

Line: Eagles by 6.5

This is a bad Eagles’ offense with slow receivers and an aging QB. They shouldn’t be favored by 6.5 against Penn St, much less the 2-0 Lions who have an arsenal of offensive weapons. Eagles 21, Lions 18

Buffalo at New England

Line: Patriots by 16.5

It’s a divisional rivalry and the Pats are due for a letdown of sorts after winning their first two handily. This could be one of those games that’s a struggle in the 3^rd quarter before the Pats’ talent eventually outlasts the Bills. Patriots 31, Bills 17

Miami at New York Jets

Line: Jets by 3

Pennington’s the QB of the present, even though Clemens proved more than capable of running the offense in his absence. The Jets started to move the ball well against Baltimore, but this week they finally put it all together. Jets 30, Dolphins 20

San Francisco at Pittsburgh

Line: Steelers by 9

The Steelers are a dominant 2-0, while the Niners are a lucky 2-0, having barely squeaked by the Cardinals and Rams. Alex Smith has talent, but he won’t flash it enough against the Steelers’ scary blitz that will likely keep him completely out of rhythm. Call this one the Tums Blowout of the Week. Steelers 31, 49ers 10

Arizona at Baltimore
Line: Ravens by 8

Without their two best linemen, the Ravens will get all they can handle from the road-dog Cardinals, who have enough moxie to keep it close. Ravens 13, Cardinals 10

St. Louis at Tampa Bay

Line: Bucs by 3.5

St. Louis has a bad secondary and Jeff Garcia is already clicking with his receivers. The Rams don’t have Orlando Pace and the Tampa D is playing surprisingly well. All around, a bad matchup for the Rams, as Tampa might be the best team in the suddenly-anemic NFC South. Bucs 24, Rams 17

Jacksonville at Denver

Line: Broncos by 3

You just don’t know which team’s going to show up, and that’s the case on both sides. What I do know is there appears to be something flukish about Denver’s 2-0 start and I have to believe Jacksonville shows up in this game since they have a strange tendency to play well with the odds against them against tougher competition. Broncos 21, Jaguars 20

Cincinnati at Seattle

Line: Seahawks by 3

This should be about as entertaining as an AFL game, with offensive weapons galore and defense that are underperforming. Seattle wins this high-scoring affair as Hasselbeck has a little more ammo than Palmer and the Hawks control the ball on the ground against a woeful Bengals’ rush defense. Seahawks 35, Bengals 30

Cleveland at Oakland

Line: Raiders by 3

The Raiders came awfully close to their first win of the season in Denver and they completely get the job done against the youthful Browns. Raiders 21, Browns 17

Carolina at Atlanta

Line: Panthers by 4

It may not be long before Byron Leftwich gets another shot under center. For now, the completely inept Falcons’ offense will rely on Joey Harrington and his bumbling incompetence once more. Panthers 20, Falcons 10

New York Giants at Washington

Line: Redskins by 3.5

The Redskins look like a good all-around club that moves the ball on the ground, plays tough defense, and gets big plays from its passing game. The Giants, meanwhile, are a mess on defense and the revamped Redskin offense will likely tear them to shreds. Redskins 34, Giants 17

Dallas at Chicago

Line: Bears by 3

You just can’t count on the Bears’ offense this year, as they’re clearly having a post-Super Bowl hangover. Meanwhile, look for Tony Romo to stay hot and lead the troops to a close road win as the Boys stay undefeated. Cowboys 20, Bears 17

Tennessee at New Orleans
Line: Saints by 4.5

The Saints will be fired up, playing at home on Monday Night in a desperate situation. That’s enough for them to topple the Titans. Saints 27, Titans 17

Last Week vs Spread: 8-7-1

Season vs Spread: 15-14-3

Last Week Straight up: 11-5

Season Straight up: 21-11

Week 2 NFL Predictions

Houston at Carolina

Line: Panthers by 6.5

OK, I’d like a mulligan on the Falcons’ pick. I pulled this off once with Tampa Bay, so me picking my seasonal sleeper in Week 2 is not unprecedented. This year’s surprise team will come from my old hometown, as the Houston Texans will emerge as a playoff team for the first time in the franchise history.

Texans 25, Panthers 24

Cincinnati at Cleveland

Line: Bengals by 7

This one’s a gimme. Cincy has more talent on both sides of the football. Time to put Romeo Crennell on the hot seat, where he’ll stay for about the next ten games before his inevitable firing. Bengals 31, Browns 6

Atlanta at Jacksonville

Line: Jaguars by 10

As badly as the Falcons stunk up the joint in Week 1 (and yes, I’m calling for a mulligan until Joey Harrington actually starts playing like a competent NFL QB) the Jags shouldn’t be favored by ten against anybody after their lackluster opening game effort against Tennessee. Too many issues at the QB position. Jaguars 20, Falcons 13

Green Bay at New York Giants

Line: Packers by 1.5

The line went down considerably as Eli’s been upgraded from out to game-time decision. Still, while the Packers have a good defense, they needed dumb luck to squeak past the Eagles. Giants 17, Packers 13

Buffalo at Pittsburgh

Line: Steelers by 10

This Buffalo team is a resilient bunch, but after getting their hearts physically ripped from their chests Temple of Doom style in Week 1 and traveling into Pittsburgh against a suddenly-revamped and motivated Steelers’ team, the odds clearly stack against against the Bills. Steelers 24, Bills 10

San Francisco at St. Louis

Line: Rams by 3

Orlando Pace’s season-ending injury is about the worst thing that could happen to the Rams’ offense. Without him, there’s no pass-protection and things are about to get real ugly for the Rams’ season. 49ers 20, Rams 17

New Orleans at Tampa Bay

Line: Saints by 3

The Saints may eek by thanks to Tampa’s inept offense, but make no mistake about it. This is clearly not the same team without Joe Horn and the Katrina euphoria is all but gone. Saints 14, Bucs 10

Indianapolis at Tennessee

Line: Colts by 7

Tennessee seems to love playing the Colts. What they’ll love even more is that this is the same defense Vince gave nightmares to twice last year, and this year they don’t have Booger in the middle to control the running game. Indy in a squeaker. Colts 27, Titans 24

Seattle at Arizona

Line: Seahawks by 2.5

The Cardinals were about 5 minutes away from making me and a host of others look incredibly stupid when they folded in typical fashion. What’s even funnier is the way they bungled the game, not knocking the ball out of the end zone to give the Niners that one extra chance to score. Seattle won’t need any extra chances, this one will be over pretty early. Seahawks 20, Cardinals 7

Minnesota at Detroit

Line: Lions by 3

It’s Jon Kitna against a horrid secondary. If he can limit his mistakes, he’ll pick the Vikings apart with all the weapons he has at receiver. Minnesota came close to losing to the Lions a couple times last year and this time they bite the dust. Lions 28, Vikings 24

Dallas at Miami

Line: Cowboys by 3.5

Lets call this the Tums Blowout of the Week special. Dallas’s suspect secondary won’t have to worry about Roy Williams being out of position on every passing play this week as the Dolphins’ passing game (and offense in general) is completely inept. Cowboys 27, Dolphins 7

New York Jets at Baltimore

Line: Ravens by 10

Yes, McNair looked awful last week, but he’s got the Jets secondary this week, the same guys who looked like a bunch of pylons as every New England receiver you can name ran circles around them. Not to mention, this is Kellen Clemens (in all likelihood) on the road against arguably the best defense in the game when the offense gives them more than half a field to work with. Ravens 21, Jets 3

Kansas City at Chicago

Line: Bears by 12

The Chiefs just looked awful in every aspect of the game against Houston. Chicago has a few injuries on defense, but it won’t make much of a difference if the Chiefs playcalling stays that bad this week. There’s a good likelihood of that too as Herm Edwards is the one handling that responsibility. Bears 30, Chiefs 3

Oakland at Denver

Line: Broncos by 9.5

The Broncos have the talent and potential of a playoff team, but they looked like anything but one in a Week 1 win over Buffalo in which they trailed on every play except Jason Elam’s game-winning FG. Oakland’s defense is still good and Cutler’s inexperience means a couple cheap scores from his mistakes keep the game close. Broncos 17, Raiders 10

San Diego at New England

Line: Patriots by 3

LaDanian will be back to 100-yard form with Rick Seymour out of the lineup, but Philip Rivers, who still looked a little unpolished against the Bears, will likely make a couple mistakes. And this Patriots team, with the revamped offense they have, WILL CAPITALIZE. Patriots 31, Chargers 21

Washington at Philadelphia

Line: Eagles by 6.5

If the Eagles need a punt returner, I have no qualms about going into their training facility right now and winning a job Vince Papale style. Must-win game for Philly, hostile environment for the Redskins, go with the home team, wash, rinse, repeat. Eagles 24, Redskins 14

Week 1 vs Spread: 7-7-2

Season vs Spread: 7-7-2

Week 1 Straight up: 10-6

Season Straight up: 10-6